I am what I’d call “a struggling artist.” Not in the strict sense of the word where you’d imagine me sitting in a corner of some street in Europe, enticing any passerby for a portrait painting session, trudging to make a living. I’d call myself “struggling” because everyday I find myself faced with obstacles to my creative inner forces.
Obstacles like a full time job for example. I am not one of those brave souls who have chosen to ditch the moneymaking careers to pursue their more creative passions. I have spent half my life getting an education and a higher degree I can’t imagine just leaving it all. But I’ve also learned that no one has to be confined to their job or a career just because it took them a long time to get there.
So I continue working full time and dreaming of more creative endeavors. This frequently requires me to make very specific choices about how I want to spend my days. My free time has to be filled with projects and reading on the topics I find myself passionate about.
Ninety percent of the time that translates into the subject of photography.
I started taking pictures when I was in college. I purchased a Nikon film camera and signed up for a black and white photography class. I enjoyed it immensely, but I didn’t think much of it beyond the grade I earned on my report card.
As I continued to pursue higher education, I also found myself continuously picking up my camera and documenting the world around me. It sort of flowed naturally for me and before I fully realized it, I could no longer NOT photograph. Pair that with my vagabond spirit and early international travels and you can imagine how I easily became hooked.
I think about photography ALL.THE.TIME.
I wake up thinking about it.
I’m constantly reading about it.
I don’t get into my car without listening to podcasts about it (thank you Ibarionex and The Candid Frame!)
I am what you’d easily call OBSESSED.
That being said, the process is an unending struggle for me, on many different levels.
Time is a huge factor, as it is for most people in today’s world. I constantly have to make choices to photograph despite busy schedule and since I am one of those believers that “it’s all about the light” – planning my day around any shoot can be tricky.
I am plagued with insecurities and self-doubt.
I recently went to a portfolio review at Art Basel Miami. A self picked selection of photos received a critique by two well known photographers from the world of street photography.
I was incredibly anxious during the critique and I’m pretty sure that my hands were shaking the entire time. The photographers both gave me very favorable reviews and I was walking on cloud nine for the rest of the day! However, by day three I was already back to believing that my photographs are nothing but a bunch of useless snapshots that might as well end up in the garbage. Needless to say, such attitude doesn’t serve anyone well and creates even greater obstacles to pursuing any creative project.
Now, I decided to start this blog despite all my insecurities, self doubt and fear. I have read enough Liz Gilbert Facebook posts and David DuChemin’s blog entries to know that if you want to do something, you just HAVE TO DO IT, focusing on the work itself and not your fearful convictions.
So here I am.
I hope this blog to become a space where I can share my photography with those willing to see it. I’ll share my photos, my fears and my successes, however small they may be. I know that I won’t always be able to travel to exotic places or work on NatGeo projects (what mere mortal can anyways?), but I also know that the only way I can lead a truly fulfilling life is by living it CREATIVELY, through photography, writing and every day choices to document the world around me.